Throughout most of my teenage years I have found myself stuck in a seemingly eternal loop of ensuring that everything fit the mould I was trying to shape my life into. The sheer effort it took to focus all of my energy on doing something I did not like had rendered me blind to the reality of my unhappiness. There was a certainty in every step that had been planned out for my life in order to reach a specific goal. Looking back towards this stage in my life, I realise the importance of uncertainty and how this can truly test a person's self-confidence.

The question was asked: Do you really want this? I answered back with the quick, memorised retort that I now realise is all my answer really was: Of course.

A single year has passed since I made the decision to leave the vocation that was at the root of my suffering, and to go after what I had always been passionate about but never allowed myself to step off of the well-paved path for. The final time my mother asked that question, I told her the truth. A weight the heft of five miserable years was suddenly lifted off of my shoulders, and my knees wobbled with the change.

By not letting myself imagine a future where I would pursue something that was not engrained in me by my surroundings, I had not laid a solid groundwork that I could rely on when I suddenly made that change. However, it is prevalent to me now that this is not the worst thing in the world. Uncertainty can cause stress and anxiety in a person, but it also has the potential to open up numerous avenues for said person to explore in the quest of finding themselves. The dichotomy between uncertainty and certainty is only imaginary, for they are one and the same. In realising this, we can better navigate our desires without forcing ourselves to settle on a specific future that will eventually put us in an unsettled disposition once again.